Wednesday, October 22, 2014

"Senior" Computer Skills

I don't think these are -just- seniors.....
Tech support:     What kind of computer do you have? 
Customer:          A white one... 
Tech support:    Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. 
Customer:          Your left or my left? 

Customer:    Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'can’t find printer’.
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it.. 
Tech support:    What's on your monitor now, ma'am? 
Customer:            A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11. 
Customer:         My keyboard  is not working anymore. 
Tech support:    Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? 
Customer:          No. I can't get behind the computer. 
Tech support:    Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. 
Customer:             OK 
Tech support:    Did the keyboard come with you? 
Customer:          Yes 
Tech support:   That means the keyboard  is not plugged in. 

Customer:            I can't get on the Internet. 
Tech support:       Are you sure you used the right password? 
Customer:            Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. 
Tech  support:    Can you tell me what the password was? 
Customer:           Five dots. 
Tech  support:     What anti-virus program do you use? 
Customer:          Netscape. 
Tech support:     That's not an anti-virus program. 
Customer:          Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.. 
Customer:     I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. 
Tech support:     How may I help you? 
Customer:   I'm writing my first email. 
Tech support:    OK, and what seems to be the problem? 
Customer:          Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it? 

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. 
Tech support:     Are you running it under windows? 
Customer:   'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. 
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'


Tech  support:    'Okay Bob, let's  press the control and escape keys at the same time.  
 That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.  Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer:          I don't have a P. 
Tech  support:   On your keyboard, Bob. 
Customer:          What do you mean? 
Tech support:   'P'.....on your  keyboard, Bob. 

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