Saturday, December 26, 2009

For you, Lucya -- With Love

ARTIST: Trad and Anon
TITLE: Plastic Jesus

Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes,
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations,
We will travel every nation,
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations,
We will travel every nation,
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.

I don't care if it rains or freezes
As long as I've got my Plastic Jesus
Glued to the dashboard of my car,
You can buy Him phosphorescent
Glows in the dark, He's Pink and Pleasant,
Take Him with you when you're travelling far


I don't care if it's dark or scary
Long as I have magnetic Mary
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car
I feel I'm protected amply
I've got the whole damn Holy Family
Riding on the dashboard of my car


You can buy a Sweet Madonna
Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a
Pedestal of abalone shell
Goin' ninety, I'm not wary
'Cause I've got my Virgin Mary
Guaranteeing I won't go to Hell


I don't care if it bumps or jostles
Long as I got the Twelve Apostles
Bolted to the dashboard of my car
Don't I have a pious mess
Such a crowd of holiness
Strung across the dashboard of my car


No, I don't care if it rains or freezes
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
But I think he'll have to go
His magnet ruins my radio
And if we have a wreck he'll leave a scar


Riding through the thoroughfare
With his nose up in the air
A wreck may be ahead, but he don't mind
Trouble coming, he don't see
He just keeps his eyes on me
And any other thing that lies behind

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Though the sun shines on his back
Makes him peel, chip, and crack
A little patching keeps him up to par

When pedestrians try to cross
I let them know who's boss
I never blow my horn or give them warning
I ride all over town
Trying to run them down
And it's seldom that they live to see the morning

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
His halo fits just right
And I use it as a sight
And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far

When I'm in a traffic jam
He don't care if I say Damn
I can let all sorts of curses roll
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
For he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Once his robe was snowy white
Now it isn't quite so bright
Stained by the smoke of my cigar

God made Christ a Holy Jew
God made Him a Christian too
Paradoxes populate my car
Joseph beams with a feigned elan
From the shaggy dash of my furlined van
Famous cuckold in the master plan

Naughty Mary, smug and smiling
Jesus dainty and beguiling
Knee-deep in the piling of my van
His message clear by night or day
My phosphorescent plastic Gay
Simpering from the dashboard of my van

When I'm goin' fornicatin
I got my ceramic Satan
Sinnin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
The women know I'm on the level
Thanks to the wild-eyed stoneware devil
Ridin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
Sneerin' from the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
Leering from the dashboard of my van

If I weave around at night
And the police think I'm tight
They'll never find my bottle, though they ask
Plastic Jesus shelters me
For His head comes off, you see
He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Ride with me and have a dram
Of the blood of the Lamb
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Voice from the Animals

Advice from a Squirrel:

Look both ways when you cross the road:

Plan ahead:

Stay Active:

Eat plenty of fiber:

Spend time in the woods:

Go out on a limb:

It's okay to be a little nuts

Voices of the Soldiers

“Merry Christmas, My Friend” by LCpl James M Schmidt, USMC, 1986

Twas the night before Christmas, he lived all alone,

In a one bedroom house made of plaster & stone.

I had come down the chimney, with presents to give

and to see just who in this home did live

As I looked all about, a strange sight I did see,

no tinsel, no presents, not even a tree.

No stocking by the fire, just boots filled with sand.

On the wall hung pictures of a far distant land.

With medals and badges, awards of all kind,

a sobering thought soon came to my mind.

For this house was different, unlike any I'd seen.

This was the home of a U.S. Marine.

I'd heard stories about them, I had to see more,

so I walked down the hall and pushed open the door.

And there he lay sleeping, silent, alone,

Curled up on the floor in his one-bedroom home.

He seemed so gentle, his face so serene,

Not how I pictured a U.S. Marine.

Was this the hero, of whom I’d just read?

Curled up in his poncho, a floor for his bed?

His head was clean-shaven, his weathered face tan.

I soon understood, this was more than a man.

For I realized the families that I saw that night,

owed their lives to these men, who were willing to fight.

Soon around the Nation, the children would play,

And grown-ups would celebrate on a bright Christmas day.

They all enjoyed freedom, each month and all year,

because of Marines like this one lying here.

I couldn’t help wonder how many lay alone,

on a cold Christmas Eve, in a land far from home.

Just the very thought brought a tear to my eye.

I dropped to my knees and I started to cry.

He must have awoken, for I heard a rough voice,

"Santa, don't cry, this life is my choice

I fight for freedom, I don't ask for more.

My life is my God, my country, my Corps."

With that he rolled over, drifted off into sleep,

I couldn't control it, I continued to weep.

I watched him for hours, so silent and still.

I noticed he shivered from the cold night's chill.

So I took off my jacket, the one made of red,

and covered this Marine from his toes to his head.

Then I put on his T-shirt of scarlet and gold,

with an eagle, globe and anchor emblazoned so bold.

And although it barely fit me, I began to swell with pride,

and for one shining moment, I was Marine Corps deep inside.

I didn't want to leave him so quiet in the night,

this guardian of honor so willing to fight.

But half asleep he rolled over, and in a voice clean and pure,

said "Carry on, Santa, it's Christmas Day, all secure."

One look at my watch and I knew he was right,

Merry Christmas my friend, Semper Fi and goodnight.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

I think there's been a disaster.

Voices from the Past

**True Story of Rudolph**

A man named Bob May, depressed and brokenhearted, stared out his drafty apartment window into the chilling December night. His 4-year-old daughter Barbara sat on his lap quietly sobbing.

Bobs wife, Evelyn, was dying of cancer.

Little Barbara couldn't understand why her mommy could never come home. Barbara looked up into her dad's eyes and asked, "Why isn't Mommy just like everybody else's Mommy?" Bob's jaw tightened and his eyes welled with tears.

Her question brought waves of grief, but also of anger. It had been the story of Bob's life. Life always had to be different for Bob.

Small when he was a kid, Bob was often bullied by other boys. He was too little at the time to compete in sports. He was often called names he'd rather not remember. From childhood, Bob was
different and never seemed to fit in. Bob did complete college, married his loving wife and was grateful to get his job as a copywriter at Montgomery Ward during the Great Depression. Then he was blessed with his little girl. But it was all short-lived. Evelyn's bout with cancer stripped them of all their savings and now Bob and his daughter were forced to live in a two-room apartment in he Chicago slums. Evelyn died just days before Christmas in 1938.

Bob struggled to give hope to his child, for whom he couldn't even afford to buy a Christmas gift. But if he couldn't buy a gift, he was determined a make one - a storybook! Bob had created a character in his own mind and told the animal's story to little Barbara to give her comfort and hope. Again and again Bob told the story, embellishing it more with each telling.

Who was the character? What was the story all about? The story Bob May created was his own autobiography in fable form. The character he created was a misfit outcast like he was. The name of the character? A little reindeer named Rudolph, with a big shiny nose.

Bob finished
the book just in time to give it to his little girl on Christmas Day. But the story doesn't end there.

The general manager of Montgomery Ward caught wind of the little storybook and offered Bob May a nominal fee to purchase the rights to print the book. Wards went on to print,_ Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer_ and distribute it to children visiting Santa Claus in their stores. By 1946 Wards had printed and distributed more than six million copies of Rudolph. That same year, a major publisher wanted to purchase the rights from Wards to print an updated version of the book.
In an unprecedented gesture of kindness, the CEO of Wards returned all rights back to Bob May. The book became a best seller. Many toy and marketing deals followed and Bob May, now remarried with a growing family, became wealthy from the story he created to comfort his grieving daughter. But the story doesn't end there either.

Bob's brother-in-law, Johnny Marks, made a song adaptation to
Rudolph. Though the song was turned down by such popular vocalists as Bing Crosby and Dinah Shore , it was recorded by the singing cowboy, Gene Autry. "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" was released in 1949 and became a phenomenal success, selling more records than any other Christmas song, with the exception of "White Christmas."

The gift of love that Bob May created for his daughter so long ago kept on returning back to bless him again and again. And Bob May learned the lesson, just like his dear friend Rudolph, that being different isn't so bad. In fact, being different can be a blessing.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Computer Roll Call

Allyson Dell Dimension 8400 P4-3000HT
Keith DIY XP2800
Troy DIY XP2100
Jennifer Gateway CX210X Tablet T2050
Blair Dell Dimension 2400 P4-2400
Maureen Dell Inspiron 3500 PII-300
Talsyn IBM ThinkPad570 PII-366
Paladin IBM ThinkPad600X PIII-500
Miss Otis HP Omnibook 500 PIII-750
Dell Dimension 4100 PIII-933
Dell Dimension 4100 PIII-733
DIY XP2600
DIY XP2100
Motherboard Only Athlon64 3400 / PC Chips M861G
Motherboard Only Socket 462
DIY K6-2/500
Elvira DIY K6-3/450
Compaq PIII-600
Epson Apex Plus 8088
Aurora Dell Latitude C600 PIII-750

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Christmas Village -- 2009

Here's some photos of my Christmas Village for 2009.

The fire department is responding to "cat in tree."

The choir is singing in the village center.

The Bedford Falls Express passes by the Kellison House and Santa getting ready to stop by another home on his yearly rounds.

The Mission and the Observatory both look up into the night sky for answers.
On the left, the fire department is next door to the tavern.

Father and son scan the night sky for Santa.

An admiring audience listens to the choir singing.

The postman and the flower lady meet on the street.

Santa making a stop, kids decorating the dog's house, the deer eating the snowman's nose.

The sleigh awaits it's driver.

People stopping to visit the Manger.

Time to rescue the kitteh!

The Village from on high.

The tree store at night.

The Mission welcomes those seeking answers.

Silhouettes against the darkness.

A townhouse, the Kellison House, and a country home look cozy waiting for Santa.

Another aerial view.

Catzilla (Zee) rests by the sledders after another romp through the Village.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Consumer Protection Infomation

The Consumer Action Website has the addresses, phone numbers and web sites for City, County and State consumer protection agencies. If you are haivng a problem with an item and the manufacturer won't help, this is the place to go for further info.

Windows 7 Keyboard shortcuts

These are from the Windows Secrets newsletter. If you run Windows, you need to be on this newsletter. Sign up at

Win7's Windows-key combinations speed up opening system tools, navigating between files and apps, and performing other common tasks. (Note that many of these shortcuts work in XP and Vista as well.)
  • Win+Pause: Displays the System Control Panel applet.
  • Win+D: Shows the desktop.
  • Win+Spacebar: Shows the desktop without minimizing open windows (Aero Peek).
  • Win+E: Opens Windows Explorer with Computer selected.
  • Win+F: Opens a Search window for finding files or folders.
  • Win+Ctrl+F: Opens a Search window for finding computers on a network.
  • Win+G: Cycles through Gadgets (if any are installed).
  • Win+L: Locks your computer or switches users.
  • Win+M: Minimizes all windows.
  • Win+Shift+M: Restores minimized windows.
  • Win+P: Chooses a presentation display mode.
  • Win+R: Opens the Run dialog box.
  • Win+T: Cycles through and previews programs on the taskbar.
  • Win+U: Opens the Ease of Access Center (Utility Manager in XP).
  • Win+X: Opens the Windows Mobility Center (which isn't installed by default on desktop PCs).
  • Win+(numbers 1 to 5): Starts the program pinned to the taskbar in the position indicated by the number. If the program is already running, it switches to that program.
  • Win+Shift+(numbers 1 to 5): Starts a new instance of the program pinned to the taskbar in the position indicated by the number.
  • Win+Ctrl+(numbers 1 to 5): Switches to the last active window of the program pinned to the taskbar in the position indicated by the number.
  • Win+Alt+(numbers 1 to 5): Opens the Jump List of recently accessed items for the program pinned to the taskbar in the position indicated by the number.
  • Win+Tab: Cycles through open programs by using Aero Flip 3-D. (You must have Aero working; Win7 Home Basic and Starter don't use Aero.)
  • Win+Ctrl+Tab and then Left or Right Arrow: Opens Aero Flip 3-D to cycle through open programs.
  • Win+Ctrl+B: Switches to the program that displayed a message in the notification area.
  • Ctrl+click: Pressing Ctrl while clicking a taskbar icon will scroll through multiple windows of that icon's application.
  • Win+Up Arrow: Maximizes the window.
  • Win+Left Arrow: Docks the active window to the left half of the screen.
  • Win+Right Arrow: Docks the active window to the right half of the screen.
  • Win+Down Arrow: Minimizes the window.
  • Win+Shift+Up Arrow: Stretches the window to the top and bottom of the screen.
  • Win+Shift+Left or Right Arrow: Moves the window from one monitor to another.
  • Win+Home: Minimizes all but the active window.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Joke Time

A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he
noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby

A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash.

Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.

The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man

walking the dog and said, 'I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be

a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?'
'My wife's.

''What happened to her?'
The man replied, 'My dog attacked and killed her'

He inquired further, 'But who is in the second hearse?'
The man answered, 'My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife

when the dog turned on her.'

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two men.

'Can I borrow the dog?'

The man replied, 'Get in line.'

Voices from the Inside


Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsiv e, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on
the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the
Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell
you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press,
nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before
the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term
memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy
to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie
down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

This coming week is National Mental Health Care week You can do your
part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show
you care.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Voices of Christmas

Are you ready for Christmas and Santa? Santa is cracking the whip at the Permafrost Ranch and Factory.:

If you are young at heart or know someone that is young, this is the place for you see and talk to the one and only SANTA CLAUS!

Please join us in a fun, safe and family friendly atmosphere to interact with Santa. Say to him, the Missus Claus and the reindeer!

Please retweet: Are you ready for Christmas and Santa? Santa is cracking the whip at the Permafrost Ranch and Factory:

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Cyber Monday Deals and Coupons

From Chris Pirillo:

A passing

Since the obituary says it better than I ever could:

Rick Matson, of Anacortes, Washington, passed away on Friday, November 6, 2009 following a massive cardiac arrest.

Rick was born in the San Fernando Valley of California on May 31, 1950.

He met his best friend and wife of 18 years, Lauri, in San Diego. They lived on the coast of central California in Nipomo before moving to Anacortes, Washington.

Together, Rick and Lauri started Wise Owl Opportunities in 1995. Rick worked with many individuals and businesses on computer repairs and was highly respected for his excellent work and cherished for the human touch he brought to it.

He was active in the Anacortes Chamber of Commerce, SICBA, and he hosted a regular walk-in computer clinic at the Senior Activity Center where he donated many hours of his time to there and throughout Anacortes.

He touched the hearts of many of their clients who became close personal friends. The business will continue operation under Lauri's management and interim support staff.

Rick's honesty and wry sense of humor were refreshing. His loyalty was a blessing to those whose lives he touched. He will be deeply missed.

Memorial services will be at Skyline Beach Club Cabana, 5919 Cabana Lane, on Sunday, November 15, 2009. Visitation will be from noon to 4 p.m. with a service at 3 p.m.

Lauri Matson asks that donations in lieu of flowers be made to the Otter Project/Monterey Coast Keeper, 475 Washington St., Ste. A, Monterey, CA 93940.

Arrangements are in the care of Evans Funeral Chapel & Crematory, Inc., Anacortes, WA and the San Juan Islands.

November 21, 2009
Sorry to hear about Rick's passing,
the few times we met here in Chicago
during the family outings,we bonded
as the 'outsiders' with stories about
the family.....Frank from Chicago

November 20, 2009
we will all feel the loss,no one can feel it more than the family, say a prayer for them. uncle jack, aunt charlene..
jack/charlene du bord,
lake forest, California

November 19, 2009
Lauri, Wayne & I were sorry to hear about Rick. Our thoughts and
prayers are with you.

wayne & Debi Johnson

November 14, 2009
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. May your memories help you at this difficule time.
Carol Scofield

November 13, 2009
Dearest Cousin,

I always enjoyed our visits together. Rick went to great lengths to make certain that we were amused. I particularily remember the early morning Starbucks runs that arrived prior to our adventures. He will be miss. I love you and have you in my thoughts! Love, Cynthia

November 13, 2009
Dear Lauri,So very sorry to hear of Rick's passing. Our prayers are with you at this sad time.Trudy Matson and family
Trudy Matson,
Grover Beach, California
November 12, 2009
Dear Sissy,
We share your sorrow.
Rick was a fine man and he will be missed.
May the Lord strengthen and comfort you.
Aunt Virginia and Uncle Art

November 12, 2009
Dear Sis,
We are deeply sorry for the loss of the love of your life.
You are in our hearts and prayers.
We will always be there to comfort and support you with our love.
With much love,
Godmother, Aunt Cecelia,and Uncle Carl

November 11, 2009
Sissy our prayers are with you during this difficult time. We are very sorry for your loss. God Bless and comfort you.
Carlos and Martha Marin,
Escondido, California

November 11, 2009
My wife and I met Rick and Lauri through business but they quickly became close friends.Rick was a one-of-a-kind man whom I learned to enjoy immensely.Kim and I will miss him greatly.
Eric Gaarde,
Fresno, California

November 11, 2009
We are so sorry for your loss. We will always remember Rick as such a nice genuine person with a great smile.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Carl & Kathy Kestler

November 11, 2009
He was my big brother, and like me, he did what he wanted, when he wanted, and I loved him for that. He taught me about boys, and I thank him for that. He was my only brother, and I'll miss him dearly.
Diane Buescher,
Sylmar, California

November 11, 2009
Rick was truly a special person. He was always there for me (and my husband) when we had computer difficulties. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Lauri.

November 11, 2009
We will always remember our wonderful trip to Anacortes and the great times we shared with Rick and you.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Uncle Henry and Aunt Mary Ann,
West Covina, California

Friday, November 27, 2009

Voices Over Seas

Xerox is sponsoring a Greeting Card to a Soldier mailing this year. It takes two seconds, there's dozens of lovely designs for a card and you can create your own custom message. Please, let a soldier (or a hundred!) know that they are in your thoughts this holiday season and send a FREE card to them!

Home Page:

Frequently Asked Questions:


Friday, November 13, 2009

Voices from the Kitchen

This is what I call OnePan, cause you make it in one pan, and it's not really an omlette, cause you don't put stuff int he eggs, you put the eggs int he stuff that's already cooked. It smells lovely.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Voices from the Wide Side

As I was telling my friend Databrokers, I was driving up Suey Creek Road Monday and came around a corner to see a deer jumping out of the brush. I left her (I think it's a her) plenty of room and time to get across the road and into the clearing on the right side. I think she stopped for a picture as a thank you.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Happy Birthday

Please read the following post made by my friend Kat Armstrong:

Voices from the Wise

Being wise does not be being old. You can be wise and be young. Like 6 year old Elena Desserish. Somehow, she knew that she didn't have long to stay with her family after being diagnosed with cancer. As Elena's cancer grew, it took away her ability to speak. But not her ability to communicate with her family. She left hundreds of notes to be found after she died all over her house; in the china drawers, in the closets, between CDs and books.

These notes have been gathered by her parents and made into a book.

I hope to own a copy of this soon. Seems more important than more RAM for a computer.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Voices from the Past

The Nobel Peace Prize used to be an award with high prestige, the person or group winning it had done something wonderful to advance human knowledge, to advance humanity, to bring us to a better understanding of ourselves.

When I think of the Nobel Prize, I think of people that truely have earned it. The Dali Lama, Elie Wiesel, and others. (complete lists can be found on Wikipedia)

I do not think of politicians who seem to win it more than they ought to.

This one person that should have won in 2007 instead of Al Gore: Irena Sendler

She, with a small group of 25, helped rescue 2500 children and adults from Poland during World War II. She was captured and beaten by the Nazis. She was fortunate to live a long life.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Voices being silenced

I remember when "Freedom of Speech" meant something, when disagreeing with the people in Washington was "patriotic." Apparently, the White House doesn't think it applies to everyone, just the people and news outlets that are sympathetic to them.

Thanks to @twnstar2, @Fingertipsnews and @whpresscorps for the link:

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Voices of Hope

I just read this story passed on from @Alyssa_Milano on Twitter:

To both Dominic and The Dominator, and his family:
Know that there are good people all across this country now hoping for a remission to your cancer and that you have the chance many of us have to grow up to an adult and do wonderful things. I am glad to have read your story and to see that you have not wasted your life in sorrow over your condition and that you have made something amazing happen. All my best to you and your family. Be strong and be brave!

I really wanted to leave a note on the Baltimore Sun's site, but had trouble with the registration. So, I'll leave my message here instead.