Sunday, December 24, 2017

The Haricut

  A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, get your haircut, then we'll talk about the car."
 The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer and they agreed on it.

After about six weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I’m disappointed you haven't had your hair cut.”
 The boy said, “You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I’ve noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.”

Love the Dad's reply!

"Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went!”

Friday, December 22, 2017

Falcon9 launch from Vandenberg AFB

Interesting how the smoke looks a bit like a dragon's head.....

Falcon9 launch carrying Iridium Sats with a synchronized launch of an HIIA from Japan.

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

How What Got WHERE....!

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.
Then, Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
He went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.
When he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a glass of cider and a shot of rum.
He went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the rum.
In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, “Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to put it?”
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Not a lot of people know this.

Monday, November 20, 2017

How Adam Got Eve

Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely..
So, God asked him, 'What's wrong with you?'

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.

God said that He was going to make Adam a companion
and that it would be a woman.

 He said, 'This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you,and when you discover clothing, she will wash them for you.'
 She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you,
and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement.
 She will praise you !
She will bear your children
 and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them.

 'She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.'

 Adam asked God, 'What will a woman like this cost?'

'An arm and a leg.'

Then Adam asked, 'What can I get for a rib ?

Of course the rest is history..... ! !

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Pastoral Humor

An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."

No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory.  Now stand and confess your transgression."  Again, all was quiet.

Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew.  Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend, there has been a terrible misunderstanding.  I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted and the congregation roared.  
Life is short. 
Smile while you still have teeth. 

Give me an Amen.

A Good Vocabulary

I called an old engineering classmate and asked what he was doing.

He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment."

I was impressed...

However, upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.

Thursday, November 09, 2017

Joke Time - Having a Drink

I was sitting there at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" He says menacingly, as I burst into tears.

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure.” I was late to a meeting, and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen, and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man... and then my dog bit me. So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all.

"I buy a drink, I drop a cyanide capsule in, and I sit here watching the poison dissolve...............… and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!

But, enough about me, how’re you doing ?

Wednesday, November 08, 2017

Ceiling and Books

I sort of have different eras and universes of models in different parts of my room.  One corner is real aircraft (Mustang, Spitfire, Falcon, Bronco, ME109, stuff like that). Other corner is Star Trek ships (Klingon and Romulan cruisers, couple of Galaxys, runabouts, kitbahses), other side of room has Star Wars [a, b, x, y, TIE fighters], Robotech, Space:1999, Crusher Joe, other kitbashes.

Veritech fighters from Robotech, A VF-1D and VF-1S with Super Armor Pack

Romulan D7-M (There is also a Romulan D7.)

Klingon D7 and D7-M, with Eagle from Space:1999, battleship from Crusher Joe and a couple of kitbash ships.

One of my three Excelsior class models, this is USS Valiant.  The D7 and Bird of Prey are from the small scale desktop three ship set (I have two sets).

The Imperial Star Destroyer IRON FIST.

Part of the living room bookshelves.

Stadium of minifigs.