Monday, November 20, 2017

How Adam Got Eve

Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely..
So, God asked him, 'What's wrong with you?'

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.

God said that He was going to make Adam a companion
and that it would be a woman.

 He said, 'This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you,and when you discover clothing, she will wash them for you.'
 She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you,
and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement.
 She will praise you !
She will bear your children
 and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them.

 'She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.'

 Adam asked God, 'What will a woman like this cost?'

'An arm and a leg.'

Then Adam asked, 'What can I get for a rib ?

Of course the rest is history..... ! !

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Pastoral Humor

An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."

No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory.  Now stand and confess your transgression."  Again, all was quiet.

Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew.  Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend, there has been a terrible misunderstanding.  I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted and the congregation roared.  
Life is short. 
Smile while you still have teeth. 

Give me an Amen.

A Good Vocabulary

I called an old engineering classmate and asked what he was doing.

He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment."

I was impressed...


However, upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.

Thursday, November 09, 2017

Joke Time - Having a Drink

I was sitting there at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" He says menacingly, as I burst into tears.

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure.” I was late to a meeting, and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen, and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man... and then my dog bit me. So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all.

"I buy a drink, I drop a cyanide capsule in, and I sit here watching the poison dissolve...............… and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!

But, enough about me, how’re you doing ?

Wednesday, November 08, 2017

Ceiling and Books

I sort of have different eras and universes of models in different parts of my room.  One corner is real aircraft (Mustang, Spitfire, Falcon, Bronco, ME109, stuff like that). Other corner is Star Trek ships (Klingon and Romulan cruisers, couple of Galaxys, runabouts, kitbahses), other side of room has Star Wars [a, b, x, y, TIE fighters], Robotech, Space:1999, Crusher Joe, other kitbashes.



Veritech fighters from Robotech, A VF-1D and VF-1S with Super Armor Pack



Romulan D7-M (There is also a Romulan D7.)



Klingon D7 and D7-M, with Eagle from Space:1999, battleship from Crusher Joe and a couple of kitbash ships.



One of my three Excelsior class models, this is USS Valiant.  The D7 and Bird of Prey are from the small scale desktop three ship set (I have two sets).



The Imperial Star Destroyer IRON FIST.



Part of the living room bookshelves.



Stadium of minifigs.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Ten Things

TEN (10) THINGS I KNOW ABOUT YOU 
 
1) You are reading this.  
2) You are human.
3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips.
4) You just attempted to do it.
6) You are laughing at yourself.  
7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.
8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.
9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too.
10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it.  You have received this e-mail because I didn't want to be alone in the idiot category.

Have a great Day. Laugh, and then Laugh and sing " It's a Beautiful Morning" even when it's not.
 "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many."
 
"We're here until God tells us to shut it down."

Monday, October 23, 2017

Annie Jump Cannon

Friends of mine are moving out of state this month.  Part of that process was them getting a laptop to replace their desktop as they are moving to a much smaller home.  After they had a downsizing sale this weekend, I helped finalize some things with the laptop, like finally getting their contacts out of Outlook at into GMail.  I've been paid very well over the last couple of years, they gave me the desktop, monitor, a printer and some speakers on top of that.

My "newest" computer is a Gateway DX 4870-UB2U.  A very nice, if older machine.

I decided that I would keep with the current theme of naming my computers after women in science and technology.  Other devices are named after:

Ada Lovelace - programming
Grace Hopper - computers
Emilie du Chatalet - science
Henrietta Leavitt-Smith - astronomy
Hedy Lamarr - communications
Kate Botello - computers and music

Annie Jump Cannon was an astronomer at a time when it very difficult for a woman to be in science.  She created one of the ways stars were classified. Her first catalog was published in 1901.  She classified more than 350,000 in her lifetime.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annie_Jump_Cannon

The computer I named after her is a Gateway DX4870-UB2U.

CPU: Intel Core i3-3240 3.4ghz, 2C/4T. 3MB cache
Memory: 2x 4GB and 2x 2GB DDR3
Hard Drive: Seagate 500GB SATA
Video: ATI Radeon 7570 1GB PCIe
Operating System: Mint 18.2 Sonya 64bit

Going to use it for playing Cities Skylines and whatever other games that will run on Linux.
This should be fun.


Tuesday, October 10, 2017

BLONDIES

BLONDIES from the kitchen of Judy

Prep time: 25 min  Bake time:  25 minutes

2 cups packed brown sugar
2/3 cup butter
2 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
1 cup semisweet chocolate pieces if desired
1 cup chopped nuts (walnuts or pecans)

1.      Grease a 13x9x2” baking pan and set aside
2.      In a medium saucepan heat brown sugar and butter over medium heat till sugar dissolves, stirring constantly.  Coool slightly.  Sir in eggs, one at a time, and vanilla.
3.      Stir in mixture of flour, baking powder and baking soda.
4.      Spread batter in prepared baking pan.  Sprinkle with nuts and/ or chocolate.
Bake in 350 degree oven 25-30 minutes or until done.  Cool slightly on a wire rack.  Cut into bars while warm.  Makes 36 bars (or less).

Thursday, September 07, 2017

SUCCESS:

At age 3 success is . . . . Not piddling in your pants.

At age 12 success is . . . Having friends.

At age 17 success is . . . Having a driver's license.

At age 35 success is . . . Having money.

At age 50 success is . . . Having money.

At age 70 success is . . . Having a driver’s license.

At age 75 success is . . . Having friends.

At age 85 success is . . . Not piddling in your pants.

The Gambler


An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland  arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice. 
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when  I'm completely nude."

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby,  Mama needs new clothes!" 

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down. 
And squealed. "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!" She hugged each of  the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. 
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. 
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
The  other   answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching." 

MORAL OF THE STORY 

Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb, 
...... But all men...are men!

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Security Programs / Clean Up Software

My list so far

Some should only be use under direction or instruction.
This is not a complete list, just the tools I've collected.



Scanners
RKill
ADW Cleaner
Junkware Removal Tool
Malwarebyte's Anti-Rootkit
Mini Tool Box
Combo Fix
GMER Rootkit Cleaner
Hitman Pro 64bit
TDSS Killer

Temporary File Cleaners
Temp File Cleaner (TFC)
ATF Cleaner (ATF)

Anti-Virus & Anti-Malware
Microsoft Security Essentials (Windows 7) 32/64bit
Malwarebytes Anti-Malware
Super Anti-Spyware
Spybot Search and Destroy

System Information
Belarc Advisor
Speccy

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Astronomy

Third order of business:
There is going to be a Solar Eclipse on Monday.  That is August 21.  For the Central Coast of CA, it will start shortly before 9AM and last to just before noon.

Disclaimer: Do Not Look Directly At The Sun With Unprotected Eyes.

There are a variety of glasses and filters you can get to protect your eyes from the Sun.  Please check carefully before purchasing, buy from a reputable retailer.

NASA has a few sites to get more info about the eclipse:
https://eclipse2017.nasa.gov/
Prepare for the eclipse:
https://www.nasa.gov/feature/goddard/2016/preparing-for-the-august-2017-total-solar-eclipse
Wikipedia article:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solar_eclipse_of_August_21,_2017

National Geographic:
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/06/total-solar-eclipse-august-how-watch-science/

This eclipse is noteworthy because the path of totality (where the Moon fully covers the Sun) goes from the Pacific coast (near Salem, OR) to the Atlantic coast (near Charleston, NC).  The path of totality is about 70 miles wide, the larger, partial eclipse cover the entire North American continent and extend down to South America (from  and across to Greenland.

I will be using an old pair of binoculars that will project the image on a white three ring binder.  I've used this setup previously for an eclipse and the Venus transit (with a telescope) in 2012.

Inline image 4

Inline image 2

Inline image 3

Enjoy the show that our Solar System puts on, and be safe.  As long as the fog rolls out, we should get to see about 60-70% eclipse.  I'd love it if all y'all took pictures and emailed me.

Also, look for Saturn (where the Cassini probe is ending a 20 year mission, final orbit in September), Jupiter (where the Juno probe is taking closeups of the Great Red Spot).
https://www.space.com/16149-night-sky.html
http://www.jb.man.ac.uk/astronomy/nightsky/

recovery media

Second order of business:
If you have not made the Recovery Media for your computer, please do so as soon as you can.  For Windows 7, type "recovery" in the search field under All Programs in the Start Menu.  For Windows 8, 8.1 and 10, you'll need to go to the Setting panel.  Windows 7 should make the recovery media on DVD, the others need a USB flash drive of at least 16GB, but I have needed one of 32GB capacity for one of my laptops.

Most off the shelf computers will have some kind of recovery or media creation software.  Look for a folder in your Start Menu with the name of the company, such as "Dell" or "HP" or "Lenovo."  Use that software to make the recovery media.

scams

First order of business:
Tell everyone you know:  Microsoft will NOT call you about viruses.  Your computer is not sending out viruses. (Well, maybe, but highly unlikely.) If someone calls you, hang up on them.  Do not entertain them for any longer than it takes to put the phone down.  These people are only out for two things:  access to your computer and access to your bank accounts.

If you get one of these calls (after you hang up!), run your anti-virus, then your anti-malware.  Usually, anti-virus (AV) is Windows Defender (also known as Microsoft Security Essentials, and is included with Windows 8, 8.1 and 10), Avast, Avira, Norton, McAfee, Trend, Kaspersky, or the like.  Run a Full Scan.  Then run your anti-malware (AMW); these include Malwarebytes Anti-Malware, Spybot Search and Destroy, Super Anti-Spyware, 

Then check that remote access to your computer is disabled.  You can do this by (and this works in all versions of Windows): going to the Control Panel, click on System, then in the left column, click on Remote Settings. A new dialog box will appear.  If there is a check in the box that says "Allow Remote Assistance," uncheck it.  Then close the box and close the Control Panel.  (Speaking of, the laptop I'm using right has it checked..... Really.)

Thursday, July 20, 2017