This year's Darwin Awards... Hard to make this up!

  Nominee No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]:

An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
 
Nominee No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette]:  
James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, MI, was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."
 
Nominee No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]:
Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
 
Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto]:
Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the buildings windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association. A person has to wonder what the dimmer members of this law firm are like. (Apologies to lawyers everywhere.)
 
Nominee No. 5: [The News of the Weird]:  
Michael Anderson Godwin had spent several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
 
Nominee No. 6: [The Indianapolis Star]:
A Dunkirk, IN man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.
 
Nominee No. 7: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]:
A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death.   "Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheelchair when the accident occurred," said Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police.   "It appears that the chair moved, and he went over the balcony," Honer said.
 
Nominee No. 8: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]:
Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog-catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned.   The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet, the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge.   After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exited the pavement, and struck a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended.   Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might be dead," stated Wallis.
"I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder.
Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia Poole (Poole's wife) asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck?

Jasmine

                       In 2003, police in  Warwickshire , England, opened a garden shed and found a  whimpering, cowering dog. The dog had been locked in the shed  and abandoned. It was dirty and malnourished, and had quite  clearly been abused. 

In an act of kindness,  the police took the dog, which was a female greyhound, to the  Nuneaton Warwickshire Wildlife Sanctuary, which is run by a  man named Geoff Grewcock, and known as a haven for animals  abandoned, orphaned, or otherwise in need. 


Geoff and the other  sanctuary staff went to work with two aims: to restore the dog  to full health, and to win her trust. It took several weeks,  but eventually both goals were achieved. They named her  Jasmine, and they started to think about finding her an  adoptive home. 
 
           

Jasmine, however, had  other ideas. No one quite remembers how it came about, but  Jasmine started welcoming all animal arrivals at the  sanctuary. It would not matter if it were a puppy, a fox cub,  a rabbit or, any other lost or hurting animal. Jasmine would  just peer into the box or cage and, when and where possible,  deliver a welcoming lick. 
                  Geoff relates one of the  early incidents. "We had two puppies that had been abandoned  by a nearby railway line. One was a Lakeland Terrier cross and  another was a Jack Russell Doberman cross. They were tiny when  they arrived at the center, and Jasmine approached them and  grabbed one by the scruff of the neck in her mouth and put him  on the settee. Then she fetched the other one and sat down  with them, cuddling them."


"But she is like that  with all of our animals, even the rabbits. She takes all the  stress out of them, and it helps them to not only feel close  to her, but to settle into their new surroundings. She has  done the same with the fox and badger cubs, she licks the  rabbits and guinea pigs, and even lets the birds perch on the  bridge of her nose."
                 Jasmine, the timid,  abused, deserted waif, became the animal sanctuary's resident  surrogate mother, a role for which she might have been born.  The list of orphaned and abandoned youngsters she has cared  for comprises five fox cubs, four badger cubs, fifteen chicks,  eight guinea pigs, two stray puppies and fifteen rabbits - and  one roe deer fawn. Tiny Bramble, eleven weeks old, was found  semi-conscious in a field. Upon arrival at the sanctuary,  Jasmine cuddled up to her to keep her warm, and then went into  the full foster-mum role. Jasmine the greyhound showers  Bramble the roe deer with affection, and makes sure nothing is  matted.
                  "They are inseparable,"  says Geoff. "Bramble walks between her legs, and they keep  kissing each other. They walk together round the sanctuary.  It's a real treat to see them."
 

 
              Jasmine will continue to  care for Bramble until she is old enough to be returned to  woodland life. When that happens, Jasmine will not be lonely.  She will be too busy showering love and affection on the next  orphan or victim of abuse.
                 Pictured from the left  are: "Toby," a stray Lakeland dog; "Bramble," orphaned roe  deer; "Buster," a stray Jack Russell; a dumped rabbit; "Sky,"  an injured barn owl; and "Jasmine," with a mother's heart  doing best what a caring mother would do...and such is the  order of God's Creation....