Sunday, August 28, 2016

Pale Blue Dot

From this distant vantage point, the Earth might not seem of any particular interest. But for us, it’s different. Consider again that dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every ‘superstar,’ every ‘supreme leader,’ every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there — on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

Carl Sagan

Tuesday, August 09, 2016

God's Plans for Seniors

Believe it or not most seniors never get enough exercise. So, in His Wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
 
Then God saw there was another need. In His Wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
 
Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.
 
So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember its God's will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath. The following is nine Important facts to remember as you grow older...........
 
#9
Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

#8
Life is sexually transmitted.

#7
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
 
#6
Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, or maybe years.

#4
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
 
#2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
 
#1
Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issuetomorrow.