The #Stella Awards

 · SEVENTH PLACE

 

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of

her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was

running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably

surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own

son.

 

Start scratching!

· SIXTH PLACE *

 

Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California won $74,000 plus medical

expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.

Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the

car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

 

Scratch some more...

· FIFTH PLACE *

 

Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had

just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the

automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the

garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the

door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it

shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a

case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's

insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury

said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish.

We should all have this kind of anguish Keep scratching. There are

more...

 

Double hand scratching after this one.

· FOURTH PLACE *

 

Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the

Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being

bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though

the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not

get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might

have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had

climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with

a pellet gun

 

Pick a new spot to scratch, you're getting a bald spot.

· THIRD PLACE *

 

Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a

Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a

spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone The reason the soft drink

was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds

earlier during an argument.

 

Only two more so ease up on the scratching..

 

*SECOND PLACE*

 

Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a

nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor,

knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to

sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover

charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000....oh,

yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure

 

Ok. Here we go!!

· FIRST PLACE *

 

This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was: Mrs. Merv

Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32-foot

Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football

game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at

70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the

Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home

left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs.

Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that

she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control

was set The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down?

 

$1,750,000.

 

PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a

result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who

might also buy a motor home.

Little Grey Cells Test

 Have fun with these...

1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name? 

2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?  

3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world? 

4. How much dirt is there in a hole... that measures two feet by three feet by four feet? 

5. What word in the English Language... is always spelled incorrectly? 

6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible? 

7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not? 

8. What was the President's Name...in 1975? 

9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now? 

10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"? 

11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field? 

 Here are the Answers: (No peeking!)  

1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?

Answer: Johnny, of course.

2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh? 

Answer: Meat. 

3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world? 

Answer: Mt. Everest; it just wasn't discovered yet. [You're not very good at this are you?] 

4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet? 

Answer: There is no dirt in a hole. 

5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?  

Answer: Incorrectly 

6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible? 

Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere. 

7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not? 

Answer: You can't take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures. 

8. What was the President's Name in 1975? 

Answer: Same as is it now - Joe Biden 

9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now? 

Answer: You would be in 2nd. Well, you passed the person in second place, not first. 

10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"? 

Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow [Duh] 

11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field? 

Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big one. 

IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD 

1) You can't count your hair. 

2) You can't wash your eyes with soap. 

3) You can't breathe through your nose when your tongue is out. 

Put your tongue back in your mouth!!

Ten (10) Things I know about you. 

  
1) You are reading this. 
  
2) You are human. 
  
3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips. 
  
4) You just attempted to do it. 
  
6) You are laughing at yourself. 
  
7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5. 
  
8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5. 
  
9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too. 
  
10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it 

  
Keep that brain working; try to figure this one out... 
  
See if you can figure out what these seven words all have in common? 
1. Banana 
2. Dresser 
3. Grammar 
4. Potato 
5. Revive 
6. Uneven 
7. Assess 
  
  
Give it another try... 
Look at each word carefully. You'll kick yourself when you discover the Answer. This is so cool..... 
  

  
 Answer: 

In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the same word. 

Downtown SLO