Monday, November 20, 2017

How Adam Got Eve

Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely..
So, God asked him, 'What's wrong with you?'

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.

God said that He was going to make Adam a companion
and that it would be a woman.

 He said, 'This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you,and when you discover clothing, she will wash them for you.'
 She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you,
and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement.
 She will praise you !
She will bear your children
 and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them.

 'She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.'

 Adam asked God, 'What will a woman like this cost?'

'An arm and a leg.'

Then Adam asked, 'What can I get for a rib ?

Of course the rest is history..... ! !

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Pastoral Humor

An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."

No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory.  Now stand and confess your transgression."  Again, all was quiet.

Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew.  Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend, there has been a terrible misunderstanding.  I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted and the congregation roared.  
Life is short. 
Smile while you still have teeth. 

Give me an Amen.

A Good Vocabulary

I called an old engineering classmate and asked what he was doing.

He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment."

I was impressed...


However, upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.

Thursday, November 09, 2017

Joke Time - Having a Drink

I was sitting there at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" He says menacingly, as I burst into tears.

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure.” I was late to a meeting, and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen, and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man... and then my dog bit me. So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all.

"I buy a drink, I drop a cyanide capsule in, and I sit here watching the poison dissolve...............… and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!

But, enough about me, how’re you doing ?

Wednesday, November 08, 2017

Ceiling and Books

I sort of have different eras and universes of models in different parts of my room.  One corner is real aircraft (Mustang, Spitfire, Falcon, Bronco, ME109, stuff like that). Other corner is Star Trek ships (Klingon and Romulan cruisers, couple of Galaxys, runabouts, kitbahses), other side of room has Star Wars [a, b, x, y, TIE fighters], Robotech, Space:1999, Crusher Joe, other kitbashes.



Veritech fighters from Robotech, A VF-1D and VF-1S with Super Armor Pack



Romulan D7-M (There is also a Romulan D7.)



Klingon D7 and D7-M, with Eagle from Space:1999, battleship from Crusher Joe and a couple of kitbash ships.



One of my three Excelsior class models, this is USS Valiant.  The D7 and Bird of Prey are from the small scale desktop three ship set (I have two sets).



The Imperial Star Destroyer IRON FIST.



Part of the living room bookshelves.



Stadium of minifigs.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Ten Things

TEN (10) THINGS I KNOW ABOUT YOU 
 
1) You are reading this.  
2) You are human.
3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips.
4) You just attempted to do it.
6) You are laughing at yourself.  
7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.
8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.
9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too.
10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it.  You have received this e-mail because I didn't want to be alone in the idiot category.

Have a great Day. Laugh, and then Laugh and sing " It's a Beautiful Morning" even when it's not.
 "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many."
 
"We're here until God tells us to shut it down."

Monday, October 23, 2017

Annie Jump Cannon

Friends of mine are moving out of state this month.  Part of that process was them getting a laptop to replace their desktop as they are moving to a much smaller home.  After they had a downsizing sale this weekend, I helped finalize some things with the laptop, like finally getting their contacts out of Outlook at into GMail.  I've been paid very well over the last couple of years, they gave me the desktop, monitor, a printer and some speakers on top of that.

My "newest" computer is a Gateway DX 4870-UB2U.  A very nice, if older machine.

I decided that I would keep with the current theme of naming my computers after women in science and technology.  Other devices are named after:

Ada Lovelace - programming
Grace Hopper - computers
Emilie du Chatalet - science
Henrietta Leavitt-Smith - astronomy
Hedy Lamarr - communications
Kate Botello - computers and music

Annie Jump Cannon was an astronomer at a time when it very difficult for a woman to be in science.  She created one of the ways stars were classified. Her first catalog was published in 1901.  She classified more than 350,000 in her lifetime.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annie_Jump_Cannon

The computer I named after her is a Gateway DX4870-UB2U.

CPU: Intel Core i3-3240 3.4ghz, 2C/4T. 3MB cache
Memory: 2x 4GB and 2x 2GB DDR3
Hard Drive: Seagate 500GB SATA
Video: ATI Radeon 7570 1GB PCIe
Operating System: Mint 18.2 Sonya 64bit

Going to use it for playing Cities Skylines and whatever other games that will run on Linux.
This should be fun.