Saturday, April 17, 2021

THERE OUGHTA BE A LAW


     O'Reilly's law of the kitchen: Cleanliness is next to impossible.

     Lieberman's law: Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since 

nobody

       listens.

     Denniston's law: Virtue is its own punishment.

     Gold's law: If the shoe fits, its ugly.

     Conway's law: In any organization, there will always be one person

       who knows what is going on. This person should be fired.

     Finster's law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

     Lynch's law: When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

     Muir's law: When we try to separate anything out by itself, we 

find

       it hitched to everything else in the universe.

     Glyme's formula for success: The secret of success is sincerity.

       Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

     Mason's first law of synergism: The one day you'd sell your

       birthright for something, birthrights are a glut.

     Hanlon's razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately

       explained by stupidity.

     Handy guide to modern science: If it's green or wriggles, it's

       biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work,

       it's physics.

     Green's law of debate: Anything is possible if you don't know what

       you're talking about.

     Stewart's law of retroaction: It is easier to get forgiveness than

       permission.

     First rule of history: History doesn't repeat itself, historians

       merely repeat each other.

     Oliver's law of location: No matter where you go, there you are.

     Harrison's postulate: For every action, there is an equal and

       opposite criticism.

                               

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