Joke Time

 How does an attorney sleep?  First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other side. 

I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.

Will glass coffins be a success?  Remains to be seen.

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?  The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu - you get what you deserve.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday, but couldn't find any.

What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case.

Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today?  I don't know and don't really care.

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population?  Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.

I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought: “That’s the last thing I need!”

Need an ark? I Noah guy.

Sleeping comes so naturally to me. I could do it with my eyes closed.

What do you call a super articulate dinosaur? A Thesaurus.

You’re not completely useless, you can always serve as a bad example.

I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay.

Don't spell part backwards. It's a trap.

What is the best thing about living in Switzerland?  Well, the flag is a big plus.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?  He was lucky it was a soft drink.