Up In Years

 I'm at a place in my life where errands are 

starting to count as going out.
I don't always go the extra mile, but when I do, 

It's because I missed my exit.

My goal for 2021 was to lose 10 pounds! 

Only have 14 to go.  Ate salad for dinner. 

Mostly croutons and tomatoes.  Really just one 

big round crouton covered with tomato sauce 

and cheese.  FINE, it was a pizza....

OK, I ate a pizza!  Are you happy now?

 

I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking 

into a spider web.
 

A recent study has found women who carry a little 

extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

Kids today don't know how easy they have it. 

When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag 

carpet to change the TV channel.
 

Remember back when we were kids and every time it 

was below freezing outside they closed school? 

Yeah, me neither.

I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or 

smart or talented.  I forgot where I was going with this!

I love being 80, I learn something new every day and 

forget 5 other things.

A thief broke into my house last night.  He started 

searching for money so I got up and searched with him.
 

Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to 

put on clothes and leave the house.

It's weird being the same age as old people.
When I was a kid I wanted to be older..... 

This is not what I expected.