Oh so punny

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory,  

      but I got canned.  Couldn't concentrate.
 

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack,  

but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe. 

3. After that, I tried being a Tailor,  

but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
 

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory,  

but that was too exhausting. 

5. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life,  

but just didn't have the thyme. 

6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker,  

but any way I sliced it.... couldn't cut the mustard. 

7. My best job was a Musician,  

but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.
 

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor,  

     but didn't have any patience. 

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory.  

   Tried hard but just didn't fit in.


10. I became a Professional Fisherman,  

but discovered I couldn't live on my net income. 

11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, 

       but the work was just too draining.


12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center,     

but they said I wasn't fit for the job..  

13. After many years of trying to find steady work,  

I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks,     

but had to quit because it was the same old grind.    

15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT 

  

...AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!!