Monday, June 13, 2022

**True Story of Rudolph**

 A man named Bob May, depressed and brokenhearted, stared out his drafty apartment window into the chilling December night.  His 4-year-old daughter Barbara sat on his lap quietly sobbing.


Bobs wife, Evelyn, was dying of cancer.

Little Barbara couldn't understand why her mommy could never come home. Barbara looked up into her dad's eyes and asked, "Why isn't Mommy just like everybody else's Mommy?" Bob's jaw tightened and his eyes welled with tears.

Her question brought waves of grief, but also of anger. It had been the story of Bob's life. Life always had to be different for Bob.
 
Small when he was a kid, Bob was often bullied by other boys. He was too little at the time to compete in sports. He was often called names he'd rather not remember. From childhood, Bob was
 different and never seemed to fit in. Bob did complete college, married his loving wife and was grateful to get his job as a copywriter at Montgomery Ward during the Great Depression. Then he was blessed with his little  girl. But it was all short-lived. Evelyn's bout with cancer stripped  them of all their savings and now Bob and his daughter were forced  to live in a two-room apartment in he Chicago slums. Evelyn died  just days before Christmas in 1938.
 
Bob struggled to give hope to his child, for whom he couldn't even afford to buy a Christmas gift. But if he couldn't buy a gift, he was determined a make one - a storybook! Bob had created a character in his own mind and told the animal's story to little Barbara to give her comfort and hope. Again and again Bob told the story, embellishing it more with each telling.

Who was the character? What was the story all about? The story Bob May created was his own autobiography in fable form. The character he created was a misfit outcast like he was. The name of the character? A little reindeer named Rudolph, with a big shiny nose.

Bob finished 
the book just in time to give it to his little girl on Christmas Day. But the story doesn't end there. 
 
The general manager of Montgomery Ward caught wind of the little storybook and offered Bob May a nominal fee to purchase the rights to print the book. Wards went on to print,_ Rudolph the  Red-Nosed Reindeer_ and distribute it to children visiting Santa Claus in their stores. By 1946 Wards had printed and distributed more than six million copies of Rudolph. That same year, a major publisher wanted to purchase the rights from Wards to print an  updated version of the book.
 
In an unprecedented gesture of  kindness, the CEO of Wards returned all rights back to Bob May. The book became a best seller. Many toy and marketing deals followed and Bob May, now remarried with a growing family, became wealthy from  the story he created to comfort his grieving daughter. But the story  doesn't end there either.  
 
 Bob's brother-in-law, Johnny Marks, made a song adaptation to
  Rudolph. Though the song was turned down by such popular vocalists  as Bing Crosby and Dinah Shore , it was recorded by the singing  cowboy, Gene Autry. "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" was released  in 1949 and became a phenomenal success, selling more records than  any other Christmas song, with the exception of "White Christmas." 
 
The gift of love that Bob May created for his daughter so long ago kept on returning back to bless him again and again. And Bob May learned the lesson, just like his dear friend Rudolph, that being different isn't so bad. In fact, being different can be a blessing.

THE COMPUTER SWALLOWED GRANDMA

 The computer swallowed grandma.

Yes, honestly its true!
She pressed 'control' and 'enter'
And disappeared from view.

It devoured her completely,
The thought just makes me squirm.
She must have caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.
I've searched through the recycle bin
And files of every kind;
I've even used the Internet,
But nothing did I find.
In desperation, I asked Beeves
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative,
Not a thing was found 'online.'
So, if inside your 'In box,'
My Grandma you should see,
Please 'Copy,''Scan' and 'Paste' her
And send her back to me

A few good Senior Moments

 Garage Door

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.  
As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'
He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'  
She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini van with two f la t tires..
 


An elderly gentleman....  
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%  
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect.. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'  
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.  
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'


Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'  
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'  
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'  
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'


An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.  
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, ' La st night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly.'  
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'  
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?  
You know.... The one that's red and has thorns....'  
'Do you mean a rose?'  
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to la st night?'


Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.  
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.  
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.  
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'


Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ....  
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.  
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'  
'Sure..'  
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.  
'No, I can remember it.'  
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'  
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'  
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.  
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'  
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a p la te of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the p la te for a moment.  
'Where's my toast ?'


A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'  
'Yep!'  
'Do I know her?'  
'Nope!'  
'This woman, is she good looking?'  
'Not really.'  
'Is she a good cook?'  
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'  
'Does she have lots of money?'  
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'  
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'  
'I don't know.'  
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'  
'Because she can still drive!'


Three old guys are out walking.  
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'  
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'  
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'


A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dol la rs, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.'  
'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'  
'Twelve thirty..'


Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.  
A few days la ter, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.  
A couple of days la ter, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'  
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''  
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'


One more. . .!  
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.  
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'  
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'  

How to lick a bowl

 







Just a little help

 

 

A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.


The bee said, 'What seems to be the problem?'


'I'm out of gas,' the man replied.


The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.

'Try it now,' said one bee.


The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. 'Wow!' the man exclaimed, 'what did you put in my gas tank'?



The bee answered,
http://console.mxlogic.com/redir/?1jd7dQPhOYqerCQTzhOPtZ6VI05hmh_BHv2stfVv2iSND3UD0ic2DAbTh5g963t-LuWbXdQQQPtPoFGGFrJzqJ0kgS1mHKG_6lJVsSDtcQsCzBYSyDtZVZyVEVsdEI6Ns1kzh066VCy2HFEw2mQdPYfDwedFCTPqrNEVpKM--re_otD7N7pS





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Wait for it.wait for it..








You're just gonna love this..
http://console.mxlogic.com/redir/?1jd7dQPhOYqerCQTzhOPtZ6VI05hmh_BHv2stfVv2iSND3UD0ic2DAbTh5g963t-LuWbXdQQQPtPoFGGFrJzqJ0kgS1mHKG_6lJVsSDtcQsCzBYSyDtZVZyVEVsdEI6Ns1kzh066VCy2HFEw2mQdPYfDwedICTPqrNEVpKM--re_otD7N7pS










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I see you smiling 

Headlines

 WOMEN SHOT IN CITY.  BULLET IS IN HER YET

.....what is her yet?

The trouble is,  is that some of us have possibly taught the people who wrote these headlines  - - -HHmmmm!!

  


 

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't  you say? 

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter 

This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.  It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!  They put in a correction the next day.   


 


I just couldn't help but sending this along. Too funny.   

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says 

      No crap, really? Ya think? 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers  

       Now that's taking things a bit far! 

  ----------------------------------------------------------- 

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over  

       What a guy!   

---------------------------------------------------------------  

Miners Refuse to Work after Death 

 No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's! 

------------------------------------------------------  

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant  

See if that works any better than a fair trial! 

  ---------------------------------------------------------- 

War Dims Hope for Peace  

 I can see where it might have that effect! 

 ---------------------------------------------------------------- 

 If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile 

   Ya think?! 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------  

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures  

      Who would have thought! 

 ---------------------------------------------------------------- 

Enfield (  London  ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide   

They may be on to something! 

------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges  

      You mean there's something stronger than duct tape? 

  ---------------------------------------------------------- 

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge  

     He probably IS the battery charge! 

----------------------------------------------  

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group  

Weren't they fat enough?! 

-----------------------------------------------   

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft  

That's what he gets for eating those beans! 

 ---------------- ---------------------------------  

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks  

       Do they taste like chicken?

**************************************** 

     Local  High School Dropouts Cut in Half  

       Chainsaw Massacre all over again! 

 *************************************************** 

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors  

       Boy, are they tall! 

 *******************************************  

And the winner is....  

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead  

   

NEVER CHEAT ON A COUNTRY WOMAN

 A country wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with  another woman.

With super-human strength, borne of fury, and cutting firewood, lifting sacks of feed,
and bales of hay, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the barn.
She put his manhood in a vice and then secured it tightly and removed the handle.
Next she picked up an old carpenter's saw. 
  
The banged-up-cheater was terrified and hollered,
"Stop! Stop! You're not gonna cut it off with that rusty saw, are you?" 
  
The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, put the saw in her husband's  hand and said ...
"Nope....You are! I'm gonna burn down the Barn!" 

Tech Support

 'Hello, technical support, how can I help you'?

LADY: 'Last night my computer started making a lot of hissing noise at me so I shut it down. This morning when I turned it on the computer started hissing and cracking, then started smoking and a bad smell, then nothing'.
SUPPORT: 'I will have a technician come over first thing this morning, and leave the computer just like it is, so they can find the problem and fix it, or change it out with another computer. Give me your address; phone number and the technician will be there just as soon as he can'.

When the technician got there, the lady showed the technician where the computer was, said what happened to it, this is what the technician found wrong. Take a look at the pictures...you won't believe your eyes!!!!!

 
And you thought you had computer problems!!!

1EC31D69A59E41E5AE45BF4FC4DE8551@Shirley

DA247858EA904C6EBE78A7C3D69EF755@Shirley


76C739B6C1CD43539047B8EF7C997E3A@Shirley


CF9B7D35BFE949498723A3D54943ECF1@Shirley


{ A red belly black snake }

The technician told her:  'It must have been after the mouse!'  The woman didn't think it was very funny at all.

Tuesday, June 07, 2022

2022 Central Coast Quilt Shop Tour - The next four shops: The Cotton Ball, Quilter's Cupboard, Sew Fun, and The Quiltery, plus a bonus shop, Orange Dot

 Our next stop took us to The Cotton Ball, in Morro Bay.  It is located at 2830 Main Street, just a few blocks north of Highway 41.  If you see Hearst Castle, you went too far!

A summer day in Morro Bay.  Notice the excellent view of Morro Rock and the power plant from here!



They also carry yarn and knitting items.



Next, we went inland at Highway 41, a very nice drive with a few curves here and there (limited to 55mph), to Atascadero for a stop at Quilter's Cupboard.
They are located at 5275 El Camino Real, along side of US 101 northbound.










"Let us in, we wanna quilt too!"


They do have a good selection of space themed fabric.








Then a stop at Sew Fun, toward the south end of Atascadero, 8775 El Camino Real.














We did stop at The Quiltery(1413 Riverside, Paso Robles, CA), but I got into a nice conversation with the lady that was marking the badges and giving out goodies.  The people that went for the premium badges got metal pins at each shop.  We didn't do that, though I kinda wish we had.  While there, three ladies were "finishers" of the entire tour, which had stores in Ventura and Carpinteria.  Roxanne's in Carpinteria is very much worth a stop, it's located on Maple Street, right off Linden Avenue.

Our last stop was at a shop we saw driving by it on the way to The Quiltery , Orange Dot.  I did get a few pictures here, and mom picked up a couple things.
Orange Dot is at 1005 Railroad, Paso Robles.








And a picture of all six badges we did pickup along the way!