Rules for Snowflakes

Rule 1 : Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world doesn't care about your self-esteem.

The world will expect you to accomplish something

BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school.

You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity.

Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping:

They called it opportunity.

Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault,

so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7 : Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring

as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills,

cleaning your clothes and listening to you

talk about how cool you thought you were:

So before you save the rain forest

from the parasites of your parent's generation,

try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers,

but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades

and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer.

*This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters.

You don't get summers off and very few employers

are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF.

*Do that on your own time.

Rule 10 : Television is NOT real life.

In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11 : Be nice to nerds…

Chances are you'll end up working for one.

OREGON MEDICAL DICTIONARY

Artery………………………The study of paintings
Bacteria……………………. Back door to the cafeteria
Barium…………………….. What doctors do when patients die
Benign…………………….. What you be after you be eight
Caesarean Section………… Neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan…………………… Searching for Kitty
Cauterize………………….. Made eye contact with her
Colic………………………. A sheep dog
Coma……………………… A punctuation mark
Dilate……………………… To live long
Enema…………………….. Not a friend
Fester……………………… Quicker than someone else
Fibula……………………… A small lie
Impotent…………………… Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain…………………. Getting hurt at work
Medical staff………………. A Doctor’s cane
Morbid…………………….. A higher offer
Nitrates…………………….. Cheaper than day rates
Node……………………….. I knew it
Outpatient………………….. A person who has fainted
Pelvis………………………. Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative……………… A letter carrier
Recovery Room……………. Place to do upholstery
Rectum……………………… **** near killed him
Secretion…………………… Hiding something
Seizure…………………….. Roman emperor
Tablet……………………… A small table
Terminal Illness……………. Getting sick at the airport
Tumor………………………. One plus one more
Urine……………………….. Opposite of you’re out

Moped versus Ferrari

An elderly man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to a doctor at a street light. The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks,

'What kind of car ‘ya got there, sonny?'

The doctor replies, 'A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars! '

'That's a lot of money,' says the old man. 'Why does it cost so much?'

'Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!' states the doctor proudly.

The Moped driver asks, 'Mind if I take a look inside?'

'No problem,' replies the doctor…

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, 'That's a pretty nice car, all right... but I'll stick with my Moped!'

Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 160 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly WHOOOOSSSHHH! Something whips by him going much faster!

'What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?' the doctor asks himself.

He presses harder on the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 250 mph. Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the Moped! Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the Moped at 275 mph. He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN!

Astounded by the speed of this old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph. Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again! The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do!

Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end.

The doctor stops and jumps out and unbelievably the old man is still alive.

He runs up to the banged-up old guy and says, 'I'm a doctor.... Is there anything I can do for you?'

The old man whispers, 'Unhook my suspenders from your side view mirror!'.

An actual serious posting for a change.

Today while reading my Twitter feed, I came across this posting:

Gay adoption refers to the adoption of children by homosexuals or same-sex couples.

—

PBS.com

And it really struck me as inaccurate on PBS' part to describe adoption in that way. "Gay" used to mean happy or upbeat. Now, it mean, an addition, to be involved with someone of your own gender. Calling people "same-sex" isn't correct. "Gender" is, to me, a better word because it describes what you are, either male or female. (An important issue, but not one I feel prepared to tackle here is trans-gender.)

Adoption is taking a child that, for whatever reason, has been placed with an agency from their biological parents to be taken care of until a good home with people that will love and raise the child is found.

In this fast paced world we all live in, people trying to shorten messages to one or two pertinent words are loosing the meaning behind those words.

I am all for anyone that feels they are able to provide a good, stable, loving home for children of any age or background. (I also dislike the word "race" when talking about humans. We don't take about the Corgi race or the Jack Russell race when talking about dogs.)

If you choose to love someone, that's your business. Love them completely, with all your heart and soul. Finding someone is special, finding other people to share that with is a mission from .

I've often thought that I could indeed be a good parent. However, I am not fiscally able to undertake that mission at this time. I decided a long time ago that bringing more children of my own would not be an option. Even fostering would be beyond my means right now. I have the room, the time, but not the money to buy myself new socks, let alone a growing child.

I can only applaud those that do with my highest regards. No matter who they are, the body isn't the important part, it's the souls inside. A lesson that humanity needs to learn.

Thanks for your time.